Lately, I have really been hit with the power of prayer. Not that a huge miracle has occurred in my life, or that I have seen the power of prayer (even though I have), but I have been hit with the power of prayer because it is a command by God.
Last night I was talking with my cousin and we were discussing how it can be tough to pray for people or situations in which we just truly believe something will not get better or change. We both admitted times where we might pray for something, full- expecting nothing to happen, and we discussed how skewed that can be.
I am, by nature, not a worrier about small things, but a worrier about big things?- OH YES, that's me. I worry about my family- their salvation, their happiness, contentment. I worry about mine and Josh's future and what God has in store for us, but I am determined to stop this worrying cycle. What do I know the answer to be? Prayer. It is as simple as that- praying to the One who can actually change a situation.
When I think about it logically, I can definitely see that my worrying does nothing, but in the moment, even this very moment, I feel guilty if I am not worrying about it, or feel irresponsible if it's not on my mind- this is exactly what God doesn't want.
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6
I want to pray about everything. Not only because it helps, but because God commands it. He knows that worrying burdens me and longs for me to pray to Him.
It has been amazing for me to see the power of prayer in my counseling sessions. I love, love, love praying with my clients. Even more amazing is when I suggest clients to pray with their children or I may suggest that spouses pray together out loud for one another--- you would think that the majority of their "problems" had disappeared when most come back the next week! Just by suggesting prayer in some way or another produces great changes... I see it in my clients' lives, but I am now committing to it myself.
Even if the situation seems impossible- even if I feel irresponsible or guilty for not worrying- even if I feel out of control----that is where God wants me. Vulnerable, desperate, surrendering, submitting, depending---Depending on Him to help, guide, and direct me in this crazy life.
How wonderful would it be not to worry?! Well, here I go on praying about everything and worrying about nothing.... Join me!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Power of Positivity
He traveled many places to give speeches on the power of positive thinking. He was convinced that if he thought and believed he could make a hole in one of the golf course, he actually could. I believe he had 6 hole in ones in his life, with the last being when he was 87. He was an amazing example of how the way we think influences our actions, which therefore influences who we are and how we live.
Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Phillipians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
These are just two verses that show just how powerful our mind can be. What we think about has a direct influence on how we live.
We live in a time where everything is problem focused. I hear people constantly talking about how bad our world is, how awful their job is, how terrible their child is, and the list goes on and on. I also believe that many of our conversations with our friends or acquaintances are problem-focused. People normally "vent" to others about negative events that are occuring in their life. I am convinced that if we could concentrate half as much on the positive parts of our lives as we do negative, we would be drastically changed.
At our small group meeting this weekend, we talked about the godly and the ungoldly. We discussed how important it is to have people in our life that not only point out the ungodly parts in our life, but also the godly. How encouraging would it be to have a friend pointing out the godly parts of you?
Positive thinking, setting our minds on Christ and good, pure, honorable things can change our lives!!!! My profession focuses a lot on people's problems- that is why my profession exists; however, the people I see that change the most rapidly are those who choose to look at the exceptions in their life, at the times where they don't want to kill their boss, or at the times they are proud of their children.
I pray that when I have children I notice their positives much more than their negatives. I think parents can sometimes fall into the trap of feeling like their job is to look at what their child is doing "wrong" and get them back on the "right" path. While this is very important, what about all the things they are already doing well? I am a huge believer in positive reinforcement- on your children, friends, spouse, co-workers.
I encourage everyone to use the power of positive thinking and to challenge your thoughts. Notice the good in your life. Tell others about great things they are doing. I know it will make a tremendous difference- I had postive thinking embodied by one of the best men I knew. He always believed he would pass away on the golf course, and he did at the age of 89 just a little over a year ago- Now that's some powerful positive thinking!!!
Here are some pics- Our last father's day together and the 2 love birds enjoying the beach a few months before he passed away...gosh I miss him and crying as I write this...thankful for these tissues in my counseling office- not always used just for clients:)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Mad at God? or Mad at Satan?
When unfortunate things happen to us, we often ask the question, "Why?" or "Why me?" This is a natural response and wondering why things happen to us is not wrong, bad, or even unhealthy. It can become unhealthy when we let it consume us and we question why God would have something less than ideal occur in our lives.
I am currently reading and studying the book of Job and am finding so many amazing truths in this small book. I have read it before and knew the basics of the book, but truly studying it has opened up my heart and mind to many new concepts and ways of thought. Job goes through seemingly every trouble that people come to counseling for- losing loved ones, "anxiety", losing his business, losing all of his money, "depression", suicidal ideation, sickness, and the list goes on and on. Job asked "Why?" about 20 times in the book of Job and God never did answer outright; however, Job trusted in the one who allowed him to suffer and came out victorious. Even though Job never knew why he suffered, he knew who was in control when he suffered, and who wasn't!
In the book of Job, Satan comes before the Lord and God points out his faithful servant, Job. It is then when Satan suggests that Job will abandon his faith that the Lord challenges that and sets out to prove him wrong. There is such a huge significance of Satan appearing before the Lord. This shows us that he (yes, even Satan) is under the divine control of God. He cannot act on his own, but must receive permission from God- wow! As scary as it might be to think that Satan is constantly trying to throw us off, it is also comforting knowing that he is not independent of God's control. In just this first bit of Job, we see that Satan causes bad things to happen to us, but it is God who allows it to happen. The Lord helps us in the midst of our struggle that He allows, in order to deliver us and conquer our enemies- once again proving his sovereignty over the world and the devil!
I am by no means a theologian, but I do feel like asking "Why?" is common for both Christians and non-Christians alike. Robert Bell notes "Satan would have us believe that God is not fair, yet we seldom consider the cruelty of the devil. I have never met anyone bitter about what Satan has done to him, but I have met many who were bitter toward God." WOW!!
It is the devil who is cruel- not God. The same struggles that the devil tries to hurt us with, God desires for us to have the victory. We may never know exactly why hardships come to us the way they do, but we know who is in control and who is on our side.
I encourage you (as well as myself) to be mad at Satan when hardships come, not God. It is God who has your best interest at heart and works everything together for your good; It is Satan to sets out to steal, kill, and destroy. Claim your victory!
I am currently reading and studying the book of Job and am finding so many amazing truths in this small book. I have read it before and knew the basics of the book, but truly studying it has opened up my heart and mind to many new concepts and ways of thought. Job goes through seemingly every trouble that people come to counseling for- losing loved ones, "anxiety", losing his business, losing all of his money, "depression", suicidal ideation, sickness, and the list goes on and on. Job asked "Why?" about 20 times in the book of Job and God never did answer outright; however, Job trusted in the one who allowed him to suffer and came out victorious. Even though Job never knew why he suffered, he knew who was in control when he suffered, and who wasn't!
In the book of Job, Satan comes before the Lord and God points out his faithful servant, Job. It is then when Satan suggests that Job will abandon his faith that the Lord challenges that and sets out to prove him wrong. There is such a huge significance of Satan appearing before the Lord. This shows us that he (yes, even Satan) is under the divine control of God. He cannot act on his own, but must receive permission from God- wow! As scary as it might be to think that Satan is constantly trying to throw us off, it is also comforting knowing that he is not independent of God's control. In just this first bit of Job, we see that Satan causes bad things to happen to us, but it is God who allows it to happen. The Lord helps us in the midst of our struggle that He allows, in order to deliver us and conquer our enemies- once again proving his sovereignty over the world and the devil!
I am by no means a theologian, but I do feel like asking "Why?" is common for both Christians and non-Christians alike. Robert Bell notes "Satan would have us believe that God is not fair, yet we seldom consider the cruelty of the devil. I have never met anyone bitter about what Satan has done to him, but I have met many who were bitter toward God." WOW!!
It is the devil who is cruel- not God. The same struggles that the devil tries to hurt us with, God desires for us to have the victory. We may never know exactly why hardships come to us the way they do, but we know who is in control and who is on our side.
I encourage you (as well as myself) to be mad at Satan when hardships come, not God. It is God who has your best interest at heart and works everything together for your good; It is Satan to sets out to steal, kill, and destroy. Claim your victory!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Unconditional Love- Do we really do it?
We all have been told that we need to love others "unconditionally." But, what does that really mean, and do we really do it? Here is the Wikipedia definition of unconditional love: to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs.We can probably all agree with this definition and think of several people that we love unconditionally- a friend that hurt us, a parent that aggravates us, and of course our children that misbehave or disobey, yet we love them.
Being a family therapist, I see many families, and I am always amazed at the extremes parents will go to for the sake of their children. Children have taken advantage of, stolen money from, and all but disclaimed their parents, yet most parents are still making sacrifices for their children and holding out hope that their children will make amends with them. Of course there are parents I have seen who have given up on their children, but the overwhelming majority is continuing to love their children regardless of how they live their life or how their children treat them. These parents are doing the best that they know how to do and truly love their children unconditionally- regardless of their child's actions or beliefs. I will come along side of these parents, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and praise them for their unconditional love and come up with ways to help them manage and improve the many stressors they are facing. Unconditional love is powerful.
While I am amazed at the unconditional love that parents have for their children, I am often underwhelmed at the unconditional love that spouses have for one another. Parents will hold out hope for decades that their children will "love" them again, yet many spouses run at the sign of struggle or heartache in their marriage. I am convinced that if spouses loved each other with the same unconditional love they have for their children, thousands of marriages would be saved- and not only saved- but be fulfilling marriages! How powerful it is when I hear a story about a wife that was not fulfilled in her marriage for a very long time, yet she perservered in loving unconditionally and years later enjoys a satisfying, loving relationship. Other stories that touch my heart in such a wonderful way is when I hear of a husband whose wife has nagged and demeaned him their entire marriage, yet he shows her love regardless, and years down the road she realizes how blessed she has been and what she has taken for granted. Oh that we would give the Holy Spirit time to do the work that only He can do! I believe divorce happens many times because we are impatient and do not give the Holy Spirit time to restore our marriages.
I am by no means promoting staying in a violent relationship. Statistics show that 1/3 of marriages that end in divorce are caused by violence, and that is not the population that I am speaking of here. I am speaking to the other 2/3 of the population, and those that stay in marriages, but do not display unconditional love to one another. The stories I gave of the couples that showed unconditional love are amazing; however, many stories may not end up that way. Couples may die in which one has showed unconditional love without ever receiving it from their spouse. Although this is heartbreaking, the spouse that showed love sowed a field larger that anyone could ever imagine. Even though those seeds in that field were not reaped in their lifetime, they will be reaped eventually, whether that be by children, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, etc...
Here is a passage that most of us hear often, but because it is read so often, I think many of us don't let it sink deep into our soul. I encourage you to read-really read- these verses.
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I am reading it again, but putting in before each verse "If I love Josh unconditionally, I will be, or I won't be..." Wow- that made it a bit more powerful. If I am not doing these things, I am not loving unconditionally.
My husband, Josh, and I have been married for 5 years. We have wanted to wait a while to have children to really form a strong Godly marriage between the two of us. To say I have enjoyed being married is an understatement, and I am glad we have taken so much time for just us. I used to think ,"Before we have children, I want to make sure that our relationship is where it needs to be (which in my mind was "perfect") so that when we have children, we will be in a much better place." While I still believe some of that, I have come to realize, we will always have our struggles. There will not be a time in our marriage where we aren't struggling with something! That is normal, and I believe that is what God wants!
I have enjoyed reading Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage. One part in his book he talks about God making marriage for holiness, not for happiness. Does marriage make us happy? Well, yes, but that is not what God intended marriage for. He intended marriage for two people to join together and draw closer to Christ. Many times that happens in our struggles in marriage. Marriage is made to challenge us, frustrate us, and bring us to our knees at times- that is right where God wants us- depending on him completely for ourselves, our marriages, and our families.
I am determined, now more than ever, to love my husband unconditionally. When we have children, I am determined to love him unconditionally MORE than I love my own children. I am determined to love him unconditionally when we are old and gray---I am determined for the sake of my marriage, for the sake of my children, for the sake of my grandchildren, but most of all for the sake of pleasing my Heavenly Father who loves me regardless of me! How I could ever choose to not love unconditionally.....
Love your spouse unconditionally- Start Today- 1 day at a time. In Jesus' name!!!!! Here is a picture of me and my amazing man:)
Being a family therapist, I see many families, and I am always amazed at the extremes parents will go to for the sake of their children. Children have taken advantage of, stolen money from, and all but disclaimed their parents, yet most parents are still making sacrifices for their children and holding out hope that their children will make amends with them. Of course there are parents I have seen who have given up on their children, but the overwhelming majority is continuing to love their children regardless of how they live their life or how their children treat them. These parents are doing the best that they know how to do and truly love their children unconditionally- regardless of their child's actions or beliefs. I will come along side of these parents, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and praise them for their unconditional love and come up with ways to help them manage and improve the many stressors they are facing. Unconditional love is powerful.
While I am amazed at the unconditional love that parents have for their children, I am often underwhelmed at the unconditional love that spouses have for one another. Parents will hold out hope for decades that their children will "love" them again, yet many spouses run at the sign of struggle or heartache in their marriage. I am convinced that if spouses loved each other with the same unconditional love they have for their children, thousands of marriages would be saved- and not only saved- but be fulfilling marriages! How powerful it is when I hear a story about a wife that was not fulfilled in her marriage for a very long time, yet she perservered in loving unconditionally and years later enjoys a satisfying, loving relationship. Other stories that touch my heart in such a wonderful way is when I hear of a husband whose wife has nagged and demeaned him their entire marriage, yet he shows her love regardless, and years down the road she realizes how blessed she has been and what she has taken for granted. Oh that we would give the Holy Spirit time to do the work that only He can do! I believe divorce happens many times because we are impatient and do not give the Holy Spirit time to restore our marriages.
I am by no means promoting staying in a violent relationship. Statistics show that 1/3 of marriages that end in divorce are caused by violence, and that is not the population that I am speaking of here. I am speaking to the other 2/3 of the population, and those that stay in marriages, but do not display unconditional love to one another. The stories I gave of the couples that showed unconditional love are amazing; however, many stories may not end up that way. Couples may die in which one has showed unconditional love without ever receiving it from their spouse. Although this is heartbreaking, the spouse that showed love sowed a field larger that anyone could ever imagine. Even though those seeds in that field were not reaped in their lifetime, they will be reaped eventually, whether that be by children, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, etc...
Here is a passage that most of us hear often, but because it is read so often, I think many of us don't let it sink deep into our soul. I encourage you to read-really read- these verses.
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I am reading it again, but putting in before each verse "If I love Josh unconditionally, I will be, or I won't be..." Wow- that made it a bit more powerful. If I am not doing these things, I am not loving unconditionally.
My husband, Josh, and I have been married for 5 years. We have wanted to wait a while to have children to really form a strong Godly marriage between the two of us. To say I have enjoyed being married is an understatement, and I am glad we have taken so much time for just us. I used to think ,"Before we have children, I want to make sure that our relationship is where it needs to be (which in my mind was "perfect") so that when we have children, we will be in a much better place." While I still believe some of that, I have come to realize, we will always have our struggles. There will not be a time in our marriage where we aren't struggling with something! That is normal, and I believe that is what God wants!
I have enjoyed reading Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage. One part in his book he talks about God making marriage for holiness, not for happiness. Does marriage make us happy? Well, yes, but that is not what God intended marriage for. He intended marriage for two people to join together and draw closer to Christ. Many times that happens in our struggles in marriage. Marriage is made to challenge us, frustrate us, and bring us to our knees at times- that is right where God wants us- depending on him completely for ourselves, our marriages, and our families.
I am determined, now more than ever, to love my husband unconditionally. When we have children, I am determined to love him unconditionally MORE than I love my own children. I am determined to love him unconditionally when we are old and gray---I am determined for the sake of my marriage, for the sake of my children, for the sake of my grandchildren, but most of all for the sake of pleasing my Heavenly Father who loves me regardless of me! How I could ever choose to not love unconditionally.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)